December 5 – Let Go. 

What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? 

(Author: Alice Bradley)

This year I began to let go of the me who still feels like a child, and not in a good way. I don't mean the me that acts giddy and wants to climb trees at inappropriate times. I mean the me that hasn't been able to or wanted to grow up and has been pushed out into the world and told what she and I both know - that's it's the right thing and that we both want it, even as we're scared of it.

I've moved house once this year, from somewhere I lived a long time. Next year I'll be moving again. This new place may not work out, finances may mean that I can't stay in it. I can deal with that. I've said I'll try, better to do that than stay hidden away.

I haven't let go of the fear I feel yet. I don't know if I can. I'm instead learning it's part of live and that it can be dealt with, that it can be controlled and you can ride on top of it, and not let it beat you down.

So the child who can't grow up is receeding a little, being replaced by fear. But it was only fear that was allowing the child to remain so string for so long.